- Thinking about the things that stress me
- Having them weigh on me
- Blowing up (last night was a doozy)
- Re-structuring/prioritizing life in order to finish what needs to be done
- Having confidence it can happen
- Making it happen
I'd really like to be able to eliminate all but the first, and the last three. 2-5 just don't add anything to my life. Humans are such creatures of habit. Even though I'm aware of this cycle, I feel like I'm powerless to stop it in one coup. Sure, it can stop. But it'll take a while. I heard once that our brains have thought patterns and processes, like the order the neurons fire, and that our brain gets used to doing it that way-- almost like the way asphalt gives way to tires running on it all the time. Our brains literally develop a groove, rut-- if you will, and that makes habit breaking extremely hard.
Maybe I should sell tickets to my panic episodes. Then I could at least generate revenue while trying to better myself.