11.01.2006

ssdd

Same story, different day. At least that's the clean version of the expression.

Not much is going on here. Mrs. Sixline has been sick. Although I've been a bit off myself (think I'm adjusting to the weather) I feel pretty good. Lucky me, I don't get sick. At least not that often. I seem to get one cold/fever a year, and usually when I do feel nasty I just sleep it off. In a day or so I'm always doing much better.

On a serious note, and this probably won't make sense-- don't worry if it doesn't. I'm giving as much detail as I'm comfortable with. I hate knowing I'm going to do something, something I don't want to do, and doing it anyway. It causes so much frustration the second the act is over. 'What was I thinking?! How could I be so stupid?' The outsider says 'So just stop.' I wish it were that simple. Sometimes it's like I've programmed myself through previous choices and when I'm triggered I can't really help it-- not that I'm disavowing all accountability in the matter, the choices I made in the past set up the pattern that happens now and I'm accountable for them. I think this is why I believe we're only free to choose the right. Choosing wrong limits your ability to stop doing that wrong. Addiction sucks.

4 comments:

pierre poissons said...

understand brother.

let me know if i can help anyway i can.

Kermit~the~Frog said...

I admire your restraint in never mentioning what this addiction is. Though it drives me crazy. Heh. Inquiring minds want to know! One of the few womanly traits I display is that endless curiosity.

Frank said...

I don't understand what you're talking about so I'm just going to say random stuff.

Humans are filthy animals. That's why we get sick. We're so filthy, every last one of us, filthy, disgusting creatures that should have become extinct thousands of years ago. I can't stand to be surrounded by my own and other people's filth every second of my being.

Ok, I probably don't really think that way, it's just random stuff. Hope you are feeling better, we missed you in class.

sixline said...

Thanks Frank. :)