Sleeping.

I decided to use my cell phone to set my alarm rather than mess around with my alarm clock. Like a genius I left the phone on vibrate so naturally I slept right through the alarm-- AND two phone calls from France!!! Crap! I have no idea who called me and no idea what they wanted. They called twice in 20 minutes and didn't leave a dang message even though I have my voice mail message in both French and English.

Oh well... Sleeping in sure felt nice.

toxic waste dump

I can't begin to express my frustration right now. I only hope that by pounding the virtual pillow I'll be able to move past it and focus on what I need to get done today.

I'm extremely frustrated because an HR director from a company in Paris who told me last I can recall that he wanted to give me a job. Trying to thin out my mail archives, I accidentally deleted a whole slew of emails that I had responded to which in turn eliminated the email thread they were a part of. So in one magnificent coup, I got rid of what the HR director actually said. For all I know, I'm remembering incorrectly.

Secondly, when I reminded this HR director that we haven't discussed anything via teleconferencing, a wish he had expressed before continuing with the hiring process, he said he was going to be in Holland until Monday (today.) And that on Monday (today) he'd email me. Today is here and there's no email. This is what I've come to expect from him, as he was the guy who told me after his interview with me that he liked me and wanted to move forward with me, then went on a three week vacation without telling me and then dropping me a line upon his return saying that we were going to do the next steps of the interviewing process. To his credit, we have indeed moved past that point, but to his detriment the man's a lousy communicator. For three weeks I thought that he changed his mind or filled the position somehow and neglected to inform me.

So I'm feeling frustrated because I don't know what's going on. He's not telling me. I have no idea what to expect from him when they do in fact offer me a position - if they do.

I dislike not knowing, I'm annoyed at how the French don't consider you as an engineer unless you come from a top school, I definitely don't like being left in the dark, and I don't want anyone to tell me "I know how you feel." I want everyone to say "That's the worst position a guy could be in. It must be so difficult."

And I forgot to charge my phone last night so I can't call Mrs. Sixline and cry on her shoulder.

This day is rotten from the get go.

No more waiting.

Last I spoke with company A, they wanted to have me do a teleconferencing call. When I reminded them that we have not had that yet, they said that they'd contact me Monday. In the meantime, company B has contacted me and while they've been punctual, scheduling the next interview while on the phone with me, they require 5 total interviews before one is hired. 5 interviews could take a few weeks... Visa requirements say that a waiting period of approximately 3 months is common. If Mrs. Sixline and I want to time this right, and be gone when I graduate (Dec 17) then September 17 is the deadline. So while we still maintain hope for these two companies, if they don't come through then working in France will have to be put on the backburners for a bit (a few years bit).

So where does this put us? I'm not exactly sure. I'm somewhat partial to working for Michelin in America, in the hopes that they'll move me over to France after a few years. The Michelin plant I applied for in the states is in South Carolina. They haven't said a word to me as to whether or not they want me so this is just one big waiting game... At least for two more weeks. Then we know whether or not I throw in the towel and just take a local job.

wow i'm sensitive.

I hate the words 'get over it.'

It's not only because I'm a Sally, but also because it seems unfair. I hate being teased for the same mixture of reasoning. Not only do I get all Nancy boy and wanna cry because you're making fun of me, but deep down I feel like "Hey, man, I don't make fun of you. I don't tease you. I don't tell you to get over it. Back off."

It's true, though. I'm sure I tease people far more than I'm aware, but I definitely don't tell people to get over it. I feel like when people are having a hard time (mad, tired, upset, exasperated, frustrated, angry, exhausted, sleepy, hungry, impatient, livid or any combination thereof) they just need their space. You don't need to tell them to get in a good mood, or to get over it. Just give them their space and they'll come around. If they need a day to get over it, then let them get over it. The subtle difference is that you need to remember that there are times when YOU need to get over it. It doesn't feel good being told to get over it, so remember that when you want to tell someone else to do so.

Despite what you might be thinking, no this is not intended as a shot at you. I'm writing this because even though I feel that way, I should remember to be patient and understanding when someone does tell me to get over it. Granted, it doesn't seem very fair (from my perspective) but I am in complete control of the situation. I'm not just talking about the way I react, but if I exert some discipline I can keep situations that elicit a 'get over it' to a minimum.

I can't think of a way to finish this post. It seems jumbled; sorry. I guess in the end I just wanted to vent a little bit, but with the resolve to change the circumstances that create the desire to vent.

Yeah.