I'm not a film critic. I've been told that white folks such as myself prefer to refer to movies as films, and they take things like the Oscars very seriously. I'm not such a person.
I've talked about TV before. I've said how unless it involves my current favorite comedy, a ball and scoreboard, or Captain Picard (Kirk, Janeway, Sisko, and Archer are suitable substitutes), I just don't watch.
And I just can't.
I think reality TV is retarded. I think the producers' attempt to take normal people who are prone to two things-- exceedingly good looks and/or outrageous behavior-- and pit them together in scantily clad ambitious competitions subtly conducting contrived social experiments with sexy/explosive results is reprehensible. It's not entertainment to me. It's boring. It's high school behavior lauded, applauded, and backed by lucrative marketing deals in your living room.
I think epic and blockbuster movies are largely forgettable. Some movies are just so boring and predictable with rigid acting, toxic dialog (toxic because the unnatural conversation and communication makes me sick to the pit of my stomach) and lethargic plot lines. Take Fantastic Four. It was terrible. TERRIBLE. They tried to special effects/Jessica Alba their way into a profitable box office endeavor. It was shameful that the junk passed for a movie. (Don't get me started on movies that try to score cheap laughs off some catch phrase some stupid kid utters. "Radical, dude!" is not good comedy. It's just not. Stop doing this, Adam Sandler. Every one of your movies involves an old person or a young person saying something foul, uncouth, and laced with sexual reference. Stop it!!!)
As I type this, I feel so dang guilty. My poor family loves a lot of the type of movie and TV show I find to be of such low caliber. I don't want to personally insult anyone for their choice in TV or "film." So I'm going to pull a 180 and say you like what you like and that's all there's to it.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
3.09.2008
7.13.2007
The Inevitable Harry Potter Post
Harry Potter 5 was bad. Real bad. Not disgusting, but bad. Why was it bad? I'll tell you.
1.) Dumbledore doesn't have the presence that a wizard of his caliber should have. I can't tell if that's his fault or the fault of the director. He just didn't have the smile behind his eyes that said he knew he'd be back in control of Hogwarts. He also didn't have the imposing presence on Voldemort at the end in the Ministry of Magic. The other Death Eaters were supposed to freak out when he got there and run away. Voldemort was supposed to lose his cool and yell things out in his anger-- very telling things concerning horcruxes.
2.) Harry is too much a teenager to understand that Voldemort can't love. That part was just lame.
3.) Kreacher had too small a role.
And that's the top 3. Most everything else is somewhat forgivable, but still, in the framework of these top 3, it makes the film really bad.
1.) Dumbledore doesn't have the presence that a wizard of his caliber should have. I can't tell if that's his fault or the fault of the director. He just didn't have the smile behind his eyes that said he knew he'd be back in control of Hogwarts. He also didn't have the imposing presence on Voldemort at the end in the Ministry of Magic. The other Death Eaters were supposed to freak out when he got there and run away. Voldemort was supposed to lose his cool and yell things out in his anger-- very telling things concerning horcruxes.
2.) Harry is too much a teenager to understand that Voldemort can't love. That part was just lame.
3.) Kreacher had too small a role.
And that's the top 3. Most everything else is somewhat forgivable, but still, in the framework of these top 3, it makes the film really bad.
9.22.2006
kill bill
I watched Kill Bill (on TNT, of course) over the course of this week. I watched both volumes, so that I could make sure I got the full range of Killiness Billiness.
Sorry, Quentin, I thought it was kinda dumb. It was shaping up to be really good in the first 20 minutes of the first movie. I thought the different cinematography would go over well-- it's refreshing to see things different. I didn't even mind the out of order sequence of 'chapters.' (I guess other Quentin Tarantino movies have this same kind of weird sequence. Meh.) However much it was building to be a decent movie, I had radically changed my mind by the end.
Three things kill a movie for me:
Kill Bill basically had all three. Cheesy dialogue and acting require little explanation, although our individual tastes probably range significantly. However, the reality point needs a bit more elaboration. Since TNT filtered out the swearing, violence, and sex, there's very little to rant/report on there.
Movie reality is established by the element of the story. Obviously we can't have space travel à la Star Trek, but inside the Trek world we've created these established facts. I wouldn't expect people to sword fight on the warp nacelle going through a wormhole during a Star Trek episode. It's just not believable. With Kill Bill, there were a few instances where there was some pretty cool swordfighting shaping up, only to have superhero comic book type moves employed. This wouldn't have been bad, except I got the impression that this was a realistic story. When superhero leaps and jumps came into play, it just didn't mesh. It wasn't believable.
Again, sorry Quentin, and others who enjoyed the film, I didn't like it. But who cares.
Sorry, Quentin, I thought it was kinda dumb. It was shaping up to be really good in the first 20 minutes of the first movie. I thought the different cinematography would go over well-- it's refreshing to see things different. I didn't even mind the out of order sequence of 'chapters.' (I guess other Quentin Tarantino movies have this same kind of weird sequence. Meh.) However much it was building to be a decent movie, I had radically changed my mind by the end.
Three things kill a movie for me:
- Cheesy dialogue
- Cheesy acting
- Diversions from the established reality
Kill Bill basically had all three. Cheesy dialogue and acting require little explanation, although our individual tastes probably range significantly. However, the reality point needs a bit more elaboration. Since TNT filtered out the swearing, violence, and sex, there's very little to rant/report on there.
Movie reality is established by the element of the story. Obviously we can't have space travel à la Star Trek, but inside the Trek world we've created these established facts. I wouldn't expect people to sword fight on the warp nacelle going through a wormhole during a Star Trek episode. It's just not believable. With Kill Bill, there were a few instances where there was some pretty cool swordfighting shaping up, only to have superhero comic book type moves employed. This wouldn't have been bad, except I got the impression that this was a realistic story. When superhero leaps and jumps came into play, it just didn't mesh. It wasn't believable.
Again, sorry Quentin, and others who enjoyed the film, I didn't like it. But who cares.
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